Hadabs Ventures Limited
Some business in Lagos, Nigeria apparently noticed that I had taken a few photographs of train lavatories and concluded that obviously I also sold train lavatories.
From ABU MOHAMMED <firstname.lastname@example.org> Subject: Mr Bob, Good day, we are Nigerian based company and wish to urgently inquire about the possibilty of placing an order for the purchase of the train toilet we saw on net with inscription (MARC) MARYLAND RAIL COMMUTER SERVICE . Please respond asap. Abu Mohammed Oboni Hadabs Ventures Limited 1B Lander Close, Off Liverpool Rd Apapa - Lagos. Tel: 234-(0)-8067671616 Email: email@example.com
At left is the picture that had interested him, and here, here, and here are the pages that show it. None of those make the slightest suggestion that I sell stainless steel train toilets!
A friend had pointed out that some of my previous bid submissions lacked specific prices, and maybe if I were to include specific figures then someone would take me up on one of these nutty schemes.
So, I again assembled an illustrated quote, but this time I provided two options, one of which had a specific price that was attractively much less than that of the more ambitious alternative.
I also involved some coincidentally related recent spam and dragged the spammers into the mess.
From: Bob Cromwell To: ABU MOHAMMED <firstname.lastname@example.org> Subject: OPERATION MARLOW-WILLARD In-Reply-To: <email@example.com> Cc: firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com Mr Abu -- You recently asked: > Mr Bob, > Good day, we are Nigerian based company and wish to urgently inquire > about the possibilty of placing an order for the purchase of the train > toilet we saw on net with inscription (MARC) MARYLAND RAIL COMMUTER > SERVICE . > Please respond asap. > > Abu Mohammed Oboni > Hadabs Ventures Limited > 1B Lander Close, Off Liverpool Rd > Apapa - Lagos. > Tel: 234-(0)-8067671616 > Email: firstname.lastname@example.org I congratulate your exquisite taste in train toilets! You are inquiring about an item that appears on these two pages: http://toilet-guru.com/train.php#marc http://toilet-guru.com/usa.php#marc The problem with the specific unit you have your eye on here, and see the attached image train-marc-dscf6699.jpg, is that those toilets are peculiar to the custom-built rail cars used by the Maryland Area Regional Commuter system. However, as you have found my on-line catalog, no doubt you have also found the linked archive of descriptions of worldwide toilet delivery operations in which we have taken part. We are nothing if not resourceful here! I can provide you with two attractive offers at widely varying costs. First, for the low sum of just US$ 250 (payable via PayPal to my e-mail address), I can put you in touch with an Indian supplier of custom-built stainless steel train toilets. In a recent message he confided thusly to me: > Dear sir, > > We manufacture railways toilets according to customer specification and sizes, > So, prices are dependant on them. we do not export single pc. Your > friend needs them in high quantity minimum 30 pc then we can supply . > We need toilet specificstion that you want to buy. > > thanking you > > M**** M***** > +919219****** That's right, just US$ 250 and his e-mail address and GSM number can be yours! Do bear in mind that South Asian stainless steel train toilet manufacturers and artificiers are renowned for their attention to detail, high quality and low price! On the other hand, I realize that you hail from a land renowned for wealth possibly surpassing even that of the legendary Croesus, the last king of the Lydians. Therefore you may be interested in our second offer -- it is significantly more expensive but far, far more rewarding.
You see, MARC is due for an upgrade of their rolling stock. We can purchase some of their cars, ship them to Nigeria, and you can either put them into service as is, or else have your maintenance shop remove the toilets and install them in your cars.
As you are no doubt aware, most of our operations have involved air delivery. Yes, this is possible with railway cars, see the attached images for some examples. However, after consultation with our aviation experts we think it would be best to deliver these cars to you by ship given the runway requirements for the larger Antonov cargo aircraft. That is also quite straightforward; again, see the attached images.
For this operation we would utilize our M/V Nostromo, originally the ferry City of Havana connecting Key West and Havana, Cuba, before Fidel and his cabal seized control of that fair island. With certain updates and additions, including crane-deployed escort boats, the M/V Nostromo is ready for cargo operations both trans-ocean and venturing well inland into the riverine environment. For example, a consultation of our most current Nigerian inland charts (attached) reminds us that we can easily operate up the Niger river as far as (and well beyond) the border of that eponymous nation. So, Lonodzha, Bida, and Elea would all be possible unloading points.
However, a cross-reference with the current Nigerian railway map indicates that you have not yet built out your railway infrastructure in that direction, concentrating instead on the north-central and north-eastern regions. Kaduna should be quite feasible, although I'm uncertain about Djos. If we turned eastward onto the Benua river at Lokodja, we could certainly unload at Makurdi and at the closest approach to Kumo. Do you have a specific compound where you would most like these rail cars unloaded?
We have, in the past, encountered what some have termed the brutal instincts and monsterous passions to be found at isolated compounds far inland. Hence our auxilliary watercraft, which not only scout the river ahead of the Nostromo for shallows and sandbars but also provide more than a modicum of security.
Now, it just so happens that we were also contacted by Mr Hans Mensah, also operating under the aliases, or shall we say alternative names, of Mr Abdulhamid9 and MaryMensah21. He has (or perhaps they have) a very attractive offer of used rail scraps, somewhere over 2.2 million tons of them at the low price of just US$ 150 per ton. As he points out, these are "very auction prices". These rails seem to be of Ukrainian manufacture, and those Ukrainians do know their rail manufacturing. They are now languishing dock-side in Ghana, just waiting in a vast pile to be employed in a project such as this: > From: Mr.Hans mensah email@example.com > Sent: Tue Apr 27 10:56:46 2010 > Subject: USED RAIL SCRAPS > > PRODUCTS:USED RAIL SCRAPS > QUANTITY :OVER 2, 200,000 TONS > PRICE: US$150 per ton CIF ANY SAFE PORT > ($135 FOB any safe port) > PAYMENT TERM:T/T after 7days of delivery > of the goods to buyers port. > > LENGTH:12.5 METERS LONG > ORIGIN: URKARINE STOCK IN GHANA > SPECIFICATION: R-50 R-65 > Chemical structure of the > materials (used rail scrap ) > is:C - 0.71 - 0.84% > Mn-0.75 - 1.25 % > Si- 0.18 - 0.55% > S - not more than 0.045% > P - not more than 0.035%. > > We need direct buyers, any broker or agent is not needed for the > sell of the product.We have in stock 2.2 million metric tons of > used rails for clearance sale,at very auction prices. Site inspection > and physical verification of materials are allowed before signing > of contract. It is pertinent to letyou know that you will have to > visit the yard ( GHANA )for inspection,and signing of the contract > and also meeting with all concerned. satisfied,do contact GEENT > Steel Miles LTD. Immediately as the end seller . Best regards, > > MR HANS. > MAZEE GROUP OF COMPANIES LIMITED > Hus 16B Ashangman Estate > P.O. BOX AC 693 ART CENTER, > ACCRA-GHANA. > TELL: +233542444401 +233542444401 , > > firstname.lastname@example.org Unfortunately, Mr/Miss Hans/Hamid/Mensah does not specify just how many of those 12.5 meter rail pieces are available. But estimating a weight of approximately 200 kg per meter (as I am sure you are aware, Ukrainian rail standards tend toward the sturdy), his horde of 2.2 million tons would mean approximately 11,000,000 meters of rail! That could be used to construct 5,500 kilometers of railway! Obviously we have access to more than enough rail to land the cars anywhere and then construct the rail line needed to connect it into your existing network. Now, while we plan on swinging past Ghana on the way to Nigeria to pick up some rail, obviously we will make only a very slight dent in that vast supply. But how much do you think we should pick up? Furthermore, in past projects (see, for example, a project we proposed to Metito Overseas, Ltd, constructing a series of lavatory service pits in Bahrain, consult our corporate archives for details: http://cromwell-intl.com/fun/requests-for-quotes/), we have found that Saudi-owned Bangladeshi indentured servants (and while the Saudis are rather touchy about sticking to that terminology, you are quite right in assuming that they are slaves in all but official title) can be quite useful for coolie labor in projects such as this -- cutting a path through the forest and laying rails. Should we also bring along a ManPak or two? (those being the standardized coolie shipping containers ) And while we're at it, do you have any immediate or near-term need for the expansion of your railway network? Well, I may be getting ahead of myself here. You may not want to opt for the full package of riverine delivery and railway extension. As for prices, the current best prices: http://www.leg.state.vt.us/reports/2010ExternalReports/253921.pdf show that road-worthy rebuilt Amfleet I cars can go for as little as US$ 300,000 each. However, fully-equipped bi-level Bombardier cars, the very thing operated by MARC, go for US$ 5.5 million each. If you are willing to accept used Bombardier cars with the MARC style toilets, I think we could probably get them for US$ 500,000 each (in heavily used condition) to US$ 2,000,000 each (for used but significantly better condition). There would also be the cost of delivery. While the M/V Nostromo is a good and efficiently operating ship, it is by no means cheap to operate. Rest assured that its captain Jozef Korzeniowski has a great deal of experience, including the very sort of dicey inland operation that this project requires. But on the other hand, for just US$ 250 I can put you in touch with my Subcontinental manufacturer of customized stainless steel railway toilets. Bob Cromwell