How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Kodiak.
If your baby is a girl, name her Blossom.
Teach your child that the hill over there really is in Russia.
Raise your child to believe that Benjamin Franklin was a fundamentalist Christian and not to believe that Margaret Thatcher was once a world leader.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on U.S. history:
"Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant — they're quite clear — that we would create law based on the God of the bible and the Ten Commandments."
- Interview with Bill O'Reilly, May 6, 2010, arguing that Judeo-Christian scripture was the basis for American law and should continue to guide the creation of future legislation.
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