How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Blitzen.
If your baby is a girl, name her Aurora Borealis.
Teach your child that "Joe Biden" sounds like a Moslem name.
Raise your child to believe that people living in large cities aren't really Americans and not to believe anything in the Washington Post.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on the U.S. Bill of Rights:
"The perversion over these last years of what the media has done to conservatives, I think it's appalling and it violates our freedom of the press."
- Boise, Idaho, May 21, 2010, while promoting the congressional candidate Vaughan Ward.
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