How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Kodiak.
If your baby is a girl, name her Petrolea.
Teach your child how and when to wink during debates.
Raise your child to believe Glenn Beck and not to believe in global warming.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on jurisprudence:
"Well, let's see. There's ... of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ..."
- CBS News interview with Katie Couric, Oct. 1, 2008, when asked and unable to name any Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade.
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