Atlantic Gulf & Pacific Company of Manila:
OPERATION MANILA BOOKLIFT
Most of the irrelevant requests for quotes that I receive have something to do with plumbing, because I had taken a lot of pictures of toilets. But there is more to me than that! Some people think that because I have a large collection of pages on information security, including a page listing infosec references I have found useful, then obviously I must be an international book seller.
From: "Dianna S. Duay" <email@example.com> To: Bob Cromwell Subject: Request for Quotation Date: Tue Mar 31 05:34:08 2009 Hi Sir, Please quote us for the below information security reference books of 5 titles as follows: 1. Stolen Access 2. Targets of Opportunity 3. Look Out for your Laptop 4. Ready for Anything (Business Continuity) 5. Back in Business (Disaster recovery) Please indicate the validity, availability, delivery CIF manila & manner of Payment. Regards, Dianna S. Duay Purchasing Department Atlantic Gulf & Pacific Co. of Manila Inc. San Roque, Bauan, Batangas, Philippines 4201 Tel No. +63 43 485-0133 Fax No. +63 43 485-0113 Website: www.agp.ph
Well, if I can make up absurd responses to irrelevant requests for plumbing quotes, I can surely do the same thing for irrelevant requests for book-selling quotes:
From: Bob Cromwell To: "Dianna S. Duay" <firstname.lastname@example.org> Subject: Re: Request for Quotation Date: Tue Mar 31 19:05:21 2009 On Tuesday 31 March 2009, you wrote: > Hi Sir, > > Please quote us for the below information security reference books of 5 > titles as follows: > > 1. Stolen Access > 2. Targets of Opportunity > 3. Look Out for your Laptop > 4. Ready for Anything (Business Continuity) > 5. Back in Business (Disaster recovery) > > Please indicate the validity, availability, delivery CIF manila & manner > of Payment. > > Regards, > > Dianna S. Duay > Purchasing Department > Atlantic Gulf & Pacific Co. of Manila Inc. > San Roque, Bauan, Batangas, Philippines 4201 > Tel No. +63 43 485-0133 > Fax No. +63 43 485-0113 > Website: www.agp.ph Dianna -- Let's first deal with what might be the major cost, depending on the number of copies you need: the cost of air transport as an escorted shipment. Expedia is currently showing a round-trip cost of US$ 2,138 round trip from Indianapolis to Manila on Northwest Airlines. I will, of course, need hotel accommodation for the duration of my stay until our transaction is completed, but fairly basic accommodation will suffice and surely we can complete the delivery within 48 hours. I believe that a surcharge of US$ 60 for every multiple of 30 kilograms of books beyond the first 10 kg should suffice for the required additional baggage costs for the books. While this cost might seem a little steep if you are only ordering a few copies, I am happy to offer, free of charge, a presentation on the fundamentals of information security to be given to a group of any size in your corporate training facility. I assume you mean the city of Manila. Given that the title field of your home page mentions "Manlia", as in "Atlantic, Gulf & Pacific Company Manlia Inc - Heavy Fabrication Yard", and your address is not Manila (or, apparently, Manlia), but San Roque, Bauan, Batangas, I am not completely certain of the meaning of "manila". Pardon my caution, but precision is crucial in an operation such as this. As for the costs of titles you require: > 1. Stolen Access Not available at this time from Amazon, my preferred provider. Do you have an ISBN number for this title? Or should we flag it as "invalid"? > 2. Targets of Opportunity Do you mean "Targets of Opportunity: On the Militarization of Thinking" by Samuel Weber, or "Target of Opportunity", #98 in the Mack Bolan: The Destroyer series, by Pendleton, or "Targets of Opportunity" by Michael Z Williamson? Costs of those are US$ 18.00, $0.30 and up, and $6.99, respectively, the second available only in used form. Initial shipping to my staging and transshipment area for the first and third would be free (assuming you are interested in more than 2 and 4 copies, respectively), while the initial shipping for the second would be approximately US$ 4 per unit. Tell you what, I'll assume you want at least 4 of this title and offer this pricing structure: US$ 18.00/copy for the Weber version US$ 6.00/copy for the Pendleton version US$ 7.00/copy for the Williamson version Feel free to get a mixture of these titles! Just make it very clear how many you want of each one. > 3. Look Out for your Laptop Not available at this time, flagged as "invalid". > 4. Ready for Anything (Business Continuity) That title is US$ 5.95 and is available as a digital download only. You do mean the title by Lawrence Berenson, right? The product description says it is 3 pages long. Assuming that it is a greyscale document, that would add US$ 0.10/page for printing, so US$ 6.25/copy to cover the download and production of hardcopy. > 5. Back in Business (Disaster recovery) That one does not seem to be available. Do you have an ISBN number for this title? Or should this be flagged as "invalid"? You said CIF, by which I must assume you mean Cost, Insurance, and Freight. The above enumerates the Cost and Freight only. As for the Insurance, I will need to research this further once I have a rough idea of what sort of quantity and thus value you will require. Finally, the method of payment. I would prefer an electronic funds transfer. Given some unfortunate experiences in the past with a Pakistani company that first indicated a serious interest in purchasing a large number of stainless steel institutional urinals and then backed completely out of the deal, I am afraid that I will need payment in full in advance. I look forward to doing business with you! Bob Cromwell ps: Do let me know the approximate time frame when you will need these. I may need to work around or rearrange some other commitments to schedule the travel. Are there any more or less auspicious times to visit Manila? The monsoon season might be interesting for a few days, but I understand that it can get pretty tedious and perhaps should be avoided.