How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Wood.
If your baby is a girl, name her Kenai.
Teach your child about Dan Quayle.
Raise your child to believe that those caribou had it coming and not to believe anything in the New York Times.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on foreign relations:
"Our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of."
- CBS News interview with Katie Couric, Sept. 25, 2008.
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