How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Seward's Folly.
If your baby is a girl, name her Bering.
Teach your child how and when to wink during debates.
Raise your child to believe that Benjamin Franklin was a fundamentalist Christian and not to believe meteorologists.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on geography:
"They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska."
- ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008, discussing her foreign policy insights into Russia.
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