How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Seward's Folly.
If your baby is a girl, name her Yeager.
Teach your child the difference between a flounder and a halibut.
Raise your child to believe that those caribou had it coming and not to believe in statistics.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on on God's role in funding Alaskan pipeline projects:
"I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that."
- Speaking to students at the Wasilla Assembly of God, June 2008, on the $30 billion national gas pipeline project that she wanted built in the state.
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