How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Track.
If your baby is a girl, name her Baby Grizzly.
Teach your child how to shoot.
Raise your child to believe that Thomas Jefferson was a fundamentalist Christian and not to believe anything in the Washington Post.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on the U.S. Bill of Rights:
"The perversion over these last years of what the media has done to conservatives, I think it's appalling and it violates our freedom of the press."
- Boise, Idaho, May 21, 2010, while promoting the congressional candidate Vaughan Ward.
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