How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Trogg.
If your baby is a girl, name her Yeager.
Teach your child that the hill over there really is in Russia.
Raise your child to believe that $150,000 is not too much to spend on clothes and not to believe that "Myanmar" is really the name of a country. Come on, that's not even an English word.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on the U.S. Constitution:
"I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out."
- ABC News interview, July 7, 2009, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why, as president, she would not be subject to the same type of ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska.
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