How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Maverick.
(Like John McCain, not like that gay pilot in that Tom Cruise movie)
If your baby is a girl, name her Barrow.
Teach your child how to dance with celebrities.
Raise your child to believe Rush Limbaugh and not to believe meteorologists.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on on foreign relations and pre-emptive wars:
"We realize that more and more Americans are starting to see the light there and understand the contrast. And we talk a lot about, OK, we're confident that we're going to win on Tuesday, so from there, the first 100 days, how are we going to kick in the plan that will get this economy back on the right track and really shore up the strategies that we need over in Iraq and Iran to win these wars?"
- Fox News interview, Nov. 1, 2008, suggesting the U.S. was already at war with Iran.
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