How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Wood.
If your baby is a girl, name her Yeager.
Teach your child how to ride a snowmobile.
Raise your child to believe in the infallibility of Fox News and not to believe that "Myanmar" is really the name of a country. Come on, that's not even an English word.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on education:
"All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years."
- CBS News interview with Katie Couric, Oct. 1, 2008, when asked to name any single newspaper or magazine she reads.
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