How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Kodiak.
If your baby is a girl, name her Blossom.
Teach your child how to smoke a salmon.
Raise your child to believe that Thomas Jefferson wrote the U.S. Constitution and not to believe anything said by scientists.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on the U.S. Constitution:
"I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out."
- ABC News interview, July 7, 2009, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why, as president, she would not be subject to the same type of ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska.
Brought to you by PHP mt_rand() and /dev/random