How to name and raise your children:
If your baby is a boy, name him Drill.
If your baby is a girl, name her Kenai.
Teach your child how to hunt.
Raise your child to believe that The Rapture is almost here and not to believe that Margaret Thatcher was once a world leader.
Share with your child the wisdom of Sarah Palin on foreign relations:
"As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where? Where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border."
- CBS News interview with Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008, explaining how Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience.
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